Lady Cave

by Brit Benjamin

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1.
I want to wake up in my lecture hall a photograph of someone I once felt knew who she would not ever be, existing obviously existing as a lonely soul totally free and free of control with no moss to cushion me as I roll And then I met you and I felt light It kind of hurt but it hurt alright And then I met you, you needed love and I just so happened to love you I used to fall asleep in hazy fields of playa dust with someone who's much like you. Now there isn't much you left. I stifle empty threats: I could be free and free of control, the ocean is open and totally cold with no hands to harbor me when I fold. And then I met you and I felt light It kind of hurt and it hurt all night. And then I met you, my gut says go, but I just so happen to love you.
2.
You and your thinly veiled everythings Anything hidden enough to be true You spend your time rationalizing why I should be kept out of the loop. You and your interpretations Reframing the shit that you do I wonder why you insist on your lies You say it's just your point of view. You and your flexible boundaries All that you keep out of sight You undermine my suspicion but I'm, in the end, always proven right.
3.
I know a girl, a girl like you Who's tough but cute And she fell in love with a man in a tailored suit. And he fell in love with a girl who was sweet and soft. And she, of course, fell in love with a boy who laughed her off. My heart is heavy but open It's fearless, it's already been broken. I think I should chill. You're only going to hurt me if you will. I know a girl, a girl like you Who's cute but tough And she was in love with a man who thinks love is enough. And she is in love with a man who thought love was enough. And he is in love with a girl who likes to treat him rough. My heart is heavy but open It's fearless, it's already been broken. I think I should chill. You're only going to hurt me if you will. My heart is heavy but open.
4.
Lady Cave 03:15
Love you dearly, keep you near me Make you strong and make me brave Hold you close yet far away In my lady cave. And there are ways of consenting that only happen in the most silent spaces. And there are things that I've prevented from happening, but still I come upon those traces of you. Lure him with a siren's lay and toss him to a sailor's grave Chilled beneath the rolling waves In my lady cave. And there are ways of dissenting of holding onto your radical views that don't involve the destruction of all the most delicate traces of you. Let my past selves pass away. My old songs will mark their graves. Shameless of that which I've made In my lady cave. And there are ways of presenting yourself Withholding all of your terrible truths Of being small and highlighting all of the glittering traces of you.
5.
Robosexual 01:50
Slapping you, I felt something I hadn't felt before Or maybe you are just the type of bot I can't ignore Somewhere in the depth of the seas, beneath my skin between my knees I came to know the truth: I am robosexual. It's possible you're rigid and I optimize for flow I might have to lubricate to make the machine go You make my fans fail I always feel I'm overheating I've got to update on the truth: I am robosexual. Mothers that I've known have told me not to stray to wait because someday I'd fall in love the human way but that's not true I never do. If I'm in love then what are you? I finally understand: I am robosexual.
6.
Math Whiz 01:48
I do, it's true, I've always been in love with you I keep my eyes on the prize of being here with you And even, in the worst case, that I'm wrong I'll twist your words and write another song I didn't want to fall for a math whiz. You make everything in love like a pop quiz. Your love is like socialism: every mouth's full but nobody ever feels fed. You pull the wool over my eyes I'm surprised that I'm still surprised. You share with me, but never really openly I try and pry but you make it pretty hard for me You're oh so "access denied" It's like some part of you has died. I didn't want to fall for a math whiz. You make everything in love like a pop quiz.
7.
Never Known 02:50
I didn't have to say no It would have been just fine After all, he's had his fun so I want to have mine. I am always honest but I could have taken you home And he may have heard something but he would have never known. It's only fair if it's really fair We both have fun and neither cares We grow our love and then get to share It's not a zero sum game. He likes a girl who is loyal Even when he lies But if he gets to sleep around then Fuck yeah, so can I. I should have taken you home He could have laid no blame I know I can feel close to you and love him just the same. It's only fair if it's really fair We both have fun and neither cares We grow our love and then get to share It's not a zero sum game.
8.
Now I'm going to sing you my favorite song about the time at Burning Man... You stupidly consented to her love And let her be dependent on you, too You cry to let her go, I cried because I know You'll never love me half as I loved you. I feel my body shaking with worry You gave her a bowl I made of curry Apparently such symbols are beyond your grasp You don't understand why I think you're such an ass You cry to see her leave, I cry in disbelief I thought you were allergic to cats. You're shocked that I am overturned with pain To your cold, robot heart it seems insane You cry to think I'll go, I cry that you don't know I want to upload love into your brain.
9.
I've been bored for years and no one seemed to give a fuck A low sigh was all that I could muster up I've been passed around like I don't even know what Handed down 'til I had no place to call my home. Roaming cheap hotels until I found you You looked like a man cut from the glass Meeting you, it really kicked my ass. We smoked speed together. We smoked speed together. And right then it all clicked for me I knew that I could transcend this mortal shell With your love, the drugs, and G-d up above I could get out of this halfway hell. I wore a grim face but we made love in a way that really broke the spell of this living Hell but later that week They busted you They said you'd be going away for five long years. We smoked speed together. We smoked speed together. We smoked speed together. I was seventeen and understood everything I stole malt liquor to deaden the pain I woke up sweating in my sister's bed Transformed into something I couldn't understand. I didn't have any notion of what I should do I wanted to die or get fucked into oblivion But all I did was cry to myself: Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Let them have their saccharine dreams of Gold watches and sleek machines If I had a home, I would probably go there Strike a match and burn it all down I've survived out here for this long, I guess. I don't need anyone.
10.
I wanted to be single I didn't mean to meet you I shouldn't have asked your name and then stalked you on the internet. But he said... I'm not a stalker, I just like you. I'm not a stalker, I just like you. I'm not a stalker, I just want your information Faster than you're going to share it with me. And then I made a big mistake I said, "It's okay, I'm not really that freaked out" I should have told him that nobody likes to be creeped on Through the internet. But he said... I'm not a stalker, I just like you. I'm not a stalker, I just like you. I'm not a stalker, I just want your information Faster than you're going to share it with me. He started talking about animal rights. He told me he was a vegan. He showed me all the blogs he writes. They were okay, for a vegan. I'm not a stalker, I just like you. I'm not a stalker, I just like you. I'm not a stalker, I just want your information Faster than you're going to share it with me.

credits

released December 2, 2014

Most of the songs on this album were recorded in the several bedrooms of Brit Janeway Benjamin in 2013 and 2014. Tracks #1 and #3 were recorded at Cosmic Zoo in Los Angeles, California. Track #9 is a cover of a song written by John Thill. The Lady Cave album name was picked over lunch at Canter’s Deli with inspiration from Patrick Owens and Aron Eisenberg. The album artwork was created by Kyle Blair. Thank you for listening.

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Brit Benjamin San Jose, California

I'm a songwriter.

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